You Are All Wrong

"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale) 02/14/2019 at 12:05 • Filed to: SINGLES AWARENESS DAY

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It is National S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day)

If you are single that means you aren’t spending your money on over prices chocolates and crowded dinner dates!

For Sweden > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:12

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If you are single that means you aren’t spending your money on over prices chocolates and crowded dinner dates! no one likes you, and your instance on trying to date is a denial of this fact and brings misery to those you try to date.

WilliamsSW > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:15

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The only thing worse than being single on Valentine’s Day is being in a relationship on Valentine’s Day

MonkeePuzzle > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:15

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Seasonal Affective  Disorder

random001 > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:17

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Cheer up!  You’ve got that thing in the mail coming today!

interstate366, now In The Industry > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:18

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I feel the way I do about today because I feel like I should be engaged instead of single.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 12:24

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nerd_racing > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 12:28

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RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > WilliamsSW 02/14/2019 at 12:29

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It is pouring outside, even the crappy restaurants are fully booked, roses are twice their normal prices ... wifey won’t let me take her to dinner tomorrow ... or yesterday ... nooooo, it has to be today

WilliamsSW > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire 02/14/2019 at 12:30

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My wife likes to save $ so we *never* go out the day of, and she instructed me to get flowers at the grocery store instead of the flower shop that I usually go to, because they’re like half the price, so I can’t complain, really.

nerd_racing > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:34

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I’m usually the poopey pants on this day, but this year I’m actually in a heathy, long term, committed relationship, with an actual person. So I’m laying off the S.A.D. train today.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:36

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You are single because dark evil comes out of only your butt.

https://www.amazon.com/Nobody-Poops-But-You-Ming/dp/1480296988

CaptDale - is secretly British > random001 02/14/2019 at 12:39

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I am not particularly upset. Maybe a bit salty and I had a really weird dream last night that has really affected my mood today.

Oh that is right! I still need to send you some money right?

CaptDale - is secretly British > nerd_racing 02/14/2019 at 12:39

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Yeah I am just a little salty this year.

CaptDale - is secretly British > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 12:41

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random001 > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 12:47

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Yeah.  Get it in, fire it up, and then it’s just my email address that you have.  I hope you play the heck out of it!

CaptDale - is secretly British > random001 02/14/2019 at 12:54

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I am sure I will since it is just going to replace my regular Xbone

nerd_racing > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 13:09

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I totally get it.  I’ve had my fair share of singles awareness days.  I can only remember about 3 where I wasn’t single (this year included). 

PatBateman > For Sweden 02/14/2019 at 13:43

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Your knife might cut deep, but it delivers hard truths.

But I’m happily married, so fuck those single fuckers!!

PatBateman > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 13:47

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Step 1: Go to YouTube, search “Australian Accent”.

Step 2: Practice speaking in  an Australian accent for a few hours while watching the videos.

Step 3: Go to a singles bar this evening.

Step 4: Flirt with someone that you are attracted to in said Australian accent.

Step 5:

CaptDale - is secretly British > PatBateman 02/14/2019 at 13:51

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Not a bad plan..... *hmmmmmm

PatBateman > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 14:21

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Find a remote place in Australia that not a lot of people have been to; that’s your hometown. Then learn some stupid facts about it for the sake of conversation.

I’m not saying this works, but you need to make sure you have prophylactic.

CaptDale - is secretly British > PatBateman 02/14/2019 at 14:23

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You Sir are a genius  

Just Jeepin' > PatBateman 02/14/2019 at 14:41

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That reminds me of an anecdote I read just a couple of days ago from Marina Sirtis about voiceover work; she mentioned that real voiceover actors are amazingly versatile, and when a filmmaker asked the table for someone who could do a Scottish accent that sounded like a barking dog, 4 different actors raised their hands.

Anyway, I might just have to do some YouTube searches this afternoon. Purely for educational purposes.

PatBateman > Just Jeepin' 02/14/2019 at 15:44

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My natural accent is a neutered East Texas draw (plenty of Texas, very little southern redneck), but I can pull off regional dialects and accents from Chicago, Boston, Georgia, Alabama, Minnesota, California, NYC, Australia, England, Scotland, and Russia (in English).

It can make for a fun time at a bar that you’ve never gone to before. 

gin-san - shitpost specialist > CaptDale - is secretly British 02/14/2019 at 16:59

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I think I’ve accepted that I’m going to be alone forever, so it's okay.

CaptDale - is secretly British > gin-san - shitpost specialist 02/14/2019 at 17:41

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:/